For Helen

So, there are days when lets face it, I want to get hit by a bus, and while I was at college I thought this might be a good idea because then i would get free tuition, or at least that was the rumor, but then of course I would have to be partially maimed, and given the fact that well, i wasn't the luckiest in love and when i say wasn't the luckiest, lets just say the only person who ever saw my boobs was my doctor, i tried to look both ways before crossing the street. I mean no one wants to die without getting felt up at least once right?! And then there are days when i don't quite want to get hit by a bus, but I wished that i just hadn't gotten out of bed, like when i went to work with no deoderant. Yes, that was embarassing. It's like you know you can smell yourself, and you are wondering, can anyone else smell me, maybe not, maybe it's all in my head, but then you scratch your head and get a nice wiff of the underarm action and realize your a ticking smell bomb, only to realize it's 10am, and 6:00 is a long ways away. And then there are days when you really wish that bus would just T-bone your little car. Like the day i got all dressed up to go to my first day of work, I managed to get my required uniform on without much assistance and drove confidently down the 405 to my destination. People were honking and staring and for a few moments i couldn't figure out why, but then i remembered that i was on my way to a picnic and i was dressed as a clown. Yes, I was a CLOWN. But someone had to pay the bills!!! No, I did not get hit by a bus, and no I am no longer a clown and if you ask me to make a balloon animal or compare me to the crazy lady at the promenade i will have no problems hunting you down and terrorizing you in my clown outfit IT style!!! ok sorry, that movie still frightens me.