poop

Ok, so i know i am not alone in this, but i just had to get it out there, i have a huge phobia of pooing in public. And i think that my phobia is caused by several reasons, one is that i am afraid it is going to stink and lets face it when you don't want it to stink it always does, not that i ever actually want it to stink and then it doesn't, but you know what i mean. Then, there's the fear of never having enough toilet paper. Like for some reason if i have to go in public, i have like a square of toilet paper to work with, and no i am not endorsing cheryl crow's idea to save the environment! then, of course there are well...the farts. yes, lets just put it out there, the FARTS! i'm afraid that while i'm trying to poo i will have loud nasty fars! ah the humiliation of farting in a bathroom stall! Or worse, farting at my work where i know people can hear me because I CAN HEAR THEM! Also, i enjoy reading while pooing, it makes me feel like i am being productive during my time on the pot, and in public there is usually nothing of worth to read, unless of course you are in college and enjoy the bathroom humor on the stalls, which i did and is why i would plan which stall to go into so i could be sure to read all of the silly jokes and news articles, yes i am lame, but manage to have a boyfriend. Ok, so all of these reasons and pry more make me not want to poo in public, so i don't. that's right, i hold it till i am frickin blue in the face, till my stomach starts to hurt like i am going to vomit, but instead of vomiting i start to sweat, and i get really hot and feel like i'm going to pass out, i'm practically prarie dogging it! And even though all this is going on, i still look at the clock and say...ok i can totally hold this for two more hours until i get off work.....